Internal dialogue (or "I need to spend more time with grown-ups")

Using the term "grown-ups" instead of "adults" is the first sign that you spend too much time with children.

The second is when you tell another grown-up you are going "potty."

Perhaps the overnight Pull-Up in MiniMe's hamper with the pajamas means I need to supervise the getting undressed process in the morning a little more closely.

I must seriously consider taking Vietnamese at the community college, because I swear that the woman giving me a pedicure turned to the girl next to her and said, "Did you see this four-foot long hair on her pinky toe? I'm going to buy this girl some tweezers."

I cannot believe I just told the entire blogosphere I had a stray hair on my pinky toe.

I wonder if Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lopez would want to be in a twins group with me.

Would I want to be in a twins group with Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Lopez?

Julia Roberts...I would totally want to be in a twins group with Julia Roberts.

If I were in a twins group with Julia Roberts, I wonder what it would take for me to get on Oprah?

How did I go from five subscribers to twelve overnight? And how many of those subscribers are going to go away after they find out I had a toe hair?

Whoever invented the pacifier deserves an award for most genius invention of all time.

If only it were socially acceptable to shove a pacifier in an adult's mouth when you want them to shut up.

Didya see that? I used the word "adult." My brain is not totally atrophied.

Does the doctor really think he needs to tell me not to give my six-month-old a chicken leg? And what am I doing that I look like the kind of person who would?

Do not read blogs while sitting cross-legged on the floor. Both feet will fall asleep, rendering you useless when the baby starts to cry.